Intentional living is hard...
AND also completely worth it
This voiceover of today’s post is unedited with some imperfections. I hope you enjoy it regardless!
Hello, I’m Kelly and I write about returning to our (feminine) roots through slow-living, simplifying & seasonal rhythms. Subscribe for free to support my work and to receive weekly posts from me.
Hey friend,
I talk a lot about the benefits of slow, simple, and intentional living, and it may seem that it’s the easier path if you choose to live this way. Maybe that’s the impression you get from other people online who share this way of living or perhaps you even get that impression from me.
But I’m here to tell you that it’s not always the easier path to walk down. Although living this way has brought so much beauty, calm, contentment, and purpose into my life, I’d be lying if I said it always feels this way.
Choosing to live a life aligned with your values and not the worlds, requires tremendous amounts of courage, self-trust, and digging deep to even know what it is that you care about and want to create in your life. And once you begin to truly reconnect to yourself and your dreams, you may feel the desire to make some radical changes in your life, such as walking away from a relationship, or at the minimum putting up some boundaries.
Maybe you’ll realize that you are living a life that doesn’t feel like home, that isn’t yours at all, and wonder how you even got there in the first place. Or perhaps, you are done with the 9 to 5 hustle culture and are so ready to figure out a way to make money in a way that feels sustainable and meaningful.
I know all the decisions we’ll be making in life aren’t always this life-altering, but the more you lean into your wisdom sometimes the more uncomfortable life can get (at least for a little bit!). You’ll be required to say no. To stop people pleasing. To take radical responsibility. To stay aware of how the perfectionism is taking root once again in your life. You’ll also be letting go….a lot. Of ideas, beliefs, belongings, people, and out grown perspectives.
Letting go is certainly some of the hardest work will have to do, but only when we let go, can we truly live a life of freedom. Many of the belongings or beliefs we hang on to, sometimes even grasping with both hands, but when we learn to let go we can truly breathe again. We’ve created space. Sometimes physically, and other times energetically, emotionally, and mentally. The more we let go, the more we step into who we are meant to be.
So yes we can do hard things. Even scary things.
When I look back on my life, especially the last 20 years or so, I can see that all the hard and scary decisions I’ve ever made, were actually some of the best. When I first moved to Raleigh, North Carolina, I also ended a long term relationship with a wonderful guy in the process. This was extremely difficult and scary.
And then I eventually did some more scary and hard things….I moved abroad to teach in a country I’ve never been to, and then I made another move on the other side of the globe to teach some more. During this time, I also did some traveling on my own to explore Asia. And then I eventually ended up in Spain (where I actually wanted to go originally), and after a few years I left teaching all together to start my own coaching business.
All of these life altering decisions were so hard and so scary. But they also have something else in common…they all happen to be the greatest adventures of my life.
I am a firm believer that you must step out of your comfort zone in order to grow and become the person you are here to be. I wouldn’t be who I am today, if I didn’t have the experiences I’ve had and choose the hard path sometimes.
Yes, I want a calm and simple life. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I want an easy one. I don’t think we were created to live an easy life. I think we’re meant for more than that. We’re meant for hard (yet meaningful) work. And doing hard things. I know the seasons I’ve grown the most is when I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone and have dug real deep to trust and have faith that it’s going to work out.
Does it always work out perfectly? No, it doesn’t.
But I do believe it works out the way it’s supposed to…in order for the lessons and growth that is meant for you to happen.
Intentional living isn’t easy. Yes, it can be full of joy, beauty, meaning, adventure, health, and creativity. But that’s because I’m choosing these values and carving out space for these specific seeds to be planted, watered, and to eventually bloom. What we move towards is what we create in our lives. That’s the heart of intentional and slow living to me.
So maybe you’re thinking of moving to another country. Or quitting your 9 to 5. Perhaps starting up your own creative endeavor. Leaving a relationship. Choosing to homeschool your kids. Chasing slow in a fast-paced world. Or living in any way that goes against the grain. I can promise you it’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. And I have found that I haven’t regretted any of these difficult choices I’ve made in life.
So this brings me to a few qualities that you may step into and embody when you choose to live a life that is all yours and in alignment with who you are becoming.
Self-trust. If I had to choose one lesson that has made the most impact in my life, it would be learning how to trust myself. And because it’s something that isn’t taught to us when we are young (in fact, it’s the exact opposite, where we are taught to trust everything outside of us), I have been learning and practicing this for 15+ years.
When we are designing a life that we love, we need self-trust. This is when we learn how to listen to our own inner voice and uncover what our values are and what we deeply care about, and not what others or the world has placed on us.
With lots of time and learning how to listen to our bodies wisdom, we can recognize our own quiet voice in this loud world we live in. Our intuition is like a muscle, the more we use use it, the stronger it gets. Start with small things in life and observe how the self-trust begins to take root within you.
Courage. It requires ample amounts of courage to do hard things and choose what is best for yourself and family, especially when you’re swimming against the tide. We need courage when we step out of our comfort zones such as moving abroad, quitting our jobs, choosing something unconventional for our children, living simply, or simply being you when you’ve been hiding.
Like Brene Brown, one of the best teachers on courage says….“You can choose courage or you can choose comfort, but you can’t choose both”.
Being courageous and stepping out of your comfort zone is really stepping into you and becoming the highest expression of yourself. I said earlier that intuition is like a muscle, and I believe courage to be as well…it will get stronger with time.
Faith. There is no guarantee that it’s all going to work out, or how it’s going to turn out. That’s where faith and trust in God comes in. When I choose to live intentionally and choose the hard path, deep down I have the belief that I am being supported by life. Over the past few years, I’ve had a couple of life-changing events happen where this belief has been challenged, and maybe if I’m honest with you, it doesn’t come as easy as it used to.
Yes, I do still believe I’m supported by life, our creator, AND sometimes life doesn’t work out perfectly and end up the way you want it to. I can hold both of these thoughts at once…there is nuance in this world and the more I step into the grey area, the more acceptance and less resistance I experience.
Honestly, I feel like I could write a whole post on each of these qualities (and maybe I will!), because they have been that instrumental on this unconventional path I’ve chosen. This lifestyle isn’t always easy, but like I’ve said before it is completely worth it. You just can’t go wrong when you lean into your intuition, courage, and faith in life.
What about you? I’d love to hear about your experiences when doing “hard” things in life. Feel free to share below or in a message!
Chat soon,
Kelly xo
P.S. If you enjoyed this post or found it helpful, I would be so grateful if you shared it or restacked it. It helps more people find this community. Thank you!
Wonderful as always 🤍